It’s a BOY!
The good news
Although I can’t make a potential announcement yet, we are currently at a hospital waiting to find out if we get to be parents to a sweet little boy!
The bad news
At this point I can’t disclose many details about the baby or the situation, since papers haven’t been signed yet.
However, I can share what happens in adoption to get to the point of signing papers. Many people have been asking me about this, so here is the Cliff notes version of adoption:
The Short Version of the Adoption Process
(Note: I’m skipping all the boring paperwork stuff. You won’t miss it.)
1. The adoption agency notifies parents of potential baby. This may be before the baby is born or after, depending on when the mother decides to pursue adoption. In our case, we were contacted a couple weeks beforehand. Not much time, but more than a lot of families get!
2. Since the birth was a scheduled c-section, we were able to be at the hospital when the baby made his arrival. Unlike our last adoption situation at Christmas, I was not in the operating room to watch the birth. The birth mom gets to decide whether the adoptive parents witness the birth or wait in the hospital. After seeing the last c-section, I was glad to wait in a separate room. (Not a fan of blood.)
3. Birth mom gets to decide whether we take care of the baby at the hospital or she does. In this case, she wanted us to care for baby, but she has been regularly visiting with the baby as well. We are in two separate rooms so that we can each have privacy with the child and any visitors.
We feel very lucky to have our own room and are thankful that the hospital was so kind to accommodate us. When our daughter was born, we were not given a room at the hospital and ended up in a sitting room the size of a closet (ugh), while sleeping in a hotel at night. It is the hospital’s decision to give a room or not to adoptive parents and this can make the first few days easier (or harder) depending on hospital policy.
4. The birth mom has been seeing the baby everyday and I fully support this. Although I know some people believe that this could possibly make signing adoption papers harder (and for some people, it might), I think it could be a good way for the birth mom to deal with her feelings, say goodbye, or choose to parent.
5. In Indiana, birth moms can sign papers 48 hours after a c-section (or 24 hours after a regular delivery). Signing these papers is the most important moment for both the adoptive family and birth mom. It’s the moment when the birth mom no longer “legally” is the parent, although she will always be the biological mom. After a woman signs these papers, there is very little she can do to change the decision, which is why she must take her time to make this choice.
I’m so thankful for each of our birth moms who carefully made this loving decision with their child’s best in mind. I’m continually awestruck by what an agonizing choice this must be. It’s a choice motivated by love and sacrifice. These birth moms aren’t being careless; they are brave and courageous.
Now we are just waiting to see what will happen to our family–whether we go home with a baby or not. Our hearts are on the line, but we knew that going into this adoption.
Tomorrow we find out more…